Sammy J and Randy: The Inheritance
With anything, there’s contrast. Chalk and cheese.. Ying and Yang.. Dick and Dom (unfortunately). Sometimes it’s a bad thing. Like if you put salt in your tea instead of sugar. Or use an angle-grinder to brush your teeth. Sammy J and Randy couldn’t be more different. But somehow, they’re best buds. Aaaaw.
Today I was privileged enough to meet the lovely Sammy J, and ‘lucky’ enough to meet Randy. *cough*. We met at one of those artsy studios in the back streets of Soho where there are flashes of camera’s going off, semi-nude women being photographed and men wearing Hawaiian shirts and sun-glasses indoors (the truth MAY have been bent/fabricated here for the benefit of the review. In fact it was).
As I approached the guys fresh from being photographed for something I forgot to ask about, Sammy J was enjoying a fruit smoothie and Randy was preparing a cake, as I was informed he was ‘somewhere applying cream’. Randy (aptly named) is purple. Like a grape or that fat thing from the old McDonalds adverts. And Sammy J is a human (peach/beige in colour). He has an air of modesty about him, clearly not revelling in the fact that the guys are regulars on Australian TV and radio. Randy is erm… something else. I can tell that they have a very good relationship, one fulfilling qualities that the other lacks and vice-versa. They complement each other as even though Randy is seldom to be caught giving a complement to anybody, Sammy J more than compensates for this.
I sat down and opened my notepad, Sammy J looking enthusiastic and prepared, Randy looking out of the window. And then, well, I started asking questions…
G’day fella’s! How is life? And Randy, are you currently disease free?
R: What sort of fucking question is that?
SJ: Randy, calm down, he’s just joking.
R: No I will not calm down. Who the fuck gave you permission to –
SJ: Dude, he’s just establishing a rapport.
R: What, by asking about my illness?
SJ: He wasn’t to know.
R: This is bullshit. Next question.
So guys, your new show ‘The Inheritance’. Please tell us what news Randy receives, and if this causes any problems.
SJ: Well, Randy finds out his great uncle has passed away, so we travel to England to claim his belongings.
R: Oh, good one, Sammy. Ruin the story why don’t you.
SJ: Randy, this all happens in the first three minutes. There’s still plenty of surprises.
R: Now you’re just encouraging latecomers.
I hear there are songs too. Do you feel like some things just need to be sung?
R: I think songs generally need to be sung.
SJ: Randy, I think the questioner means, are there some things that –
R: Oh, sorry, do you have a special relationship with the interviewer, do you?
SJ: No, I was just trying to …
R: Do you and the interviewer go on summer holidays together? Do you Skype regularly?
SJ: You’re being ridiculous. I’m just trying to help you understand the question …
R: UNDERSTAND THIS.
SJ: Randy, it’s a printed interview.
SJ: Nobody can see what you’re doing.
SJ: Do you want to tell them?
R: I’m sticking my rude finger up.
Sammy, you have an album coming out. Surely you will be able to make your own fortune from that?
SJ: You’d think so. Sadly, I spent a fortune on production.
R: I told you it was a bad idea.
SJ: Oh come on. Organising Dame Judy Dench to do backing vocals on Track 4 was a stroke of genius.
R: It cost you forty thousand dollars.
SJ: Are you going to finish that sandwich?
How was your journey to the UK, any stories to tell of?
R: Yes, actually.
SJ: Now that you mention it.
R: Our plane crashed into the ocean.
SJ: We were the sole survivors.
R: We fashioned a life raft out of the fuselage and drifted for days.
SJ: Eventually we washed ashore on a remote Bengalla beach.
R: We murdered a pirate and swore an oath on his skull to combat piracy, greed and injustice wherever it may be found.
SJ: Then a search and rescue team found us and flew us to Edinburgh.
R: Are we still going to combat piracy?
SJ: That was conditional on not being rescued.
R: Oh, sweet.
Sammy, what is it like living with Randy?
SJ: He’s my best friend.
Randy, what is it like living with Sammy?
R: He’s a cockhead.
Randy, are there any other *ahem* puppets you like? Are there any you don’t like?
R: OK, seriously, this has gone too far.
SJ: Dude, don’t worry, we’re nearly there …
R: NO! You saw the way this interview started, and now he’s going to bring that up?
SJ: Randy – please – we need the publicity.
R: Fuck the publicity!
SJ: Dude, I can’t stress this enough, we have a lot of seats to fill, it’s a big venue …
R: Oh and I suppose you’d be burning witches in the 16th century too, huh?
R: You heard me.
SJ: I did, but it didn’t make sense.
R: You’re telling me it didn’t make sense??? Most of them were entirely innocent of the crimes they were accused of.
SJ: Answer the fucking question.
R: Big Bird.
What have you guys got planned for the future?
SJ: I’m going to host a cooking show called “Let’s Cook!”
R: I’m going to host a cooking show called “Time to Cook!”
SJ: But that’s very similar to my plan.
SJ: When did you make that plan?
R: A few seconds ago.
SJ: You’re an arsehole.
R: Deal with it.
Thanks guys, can’t wait to see the new show! You can catch the duo (and hopefully that’s all you’ll catch) at the Underbelly Cowbarn throughout August at the Edinburgh festival. These guys are racking up 5 star reviews like nobody’s business. Maybe one day, they’ll turn into them (stars…).
Tickets here: www.underbelly.co.uk